About a week ago, my staff and I watched Bill Hybels “Holy Discontent” from the 2009 Leadership Summit. New to my role as “Lead Pastor”, I wanted to begin casting a strategic vision of purposeful forward movement for my pastoral team. I had it all planned. My staff was gathered in our worship suite, lights out, the video set, discussion questions in hand, worship music in the background, ready to see their eyes perk with inspiration…I hit play…and then something started in me that has not stopped since…UNREST!
Ever since that video, I’ve been trying to name it…frustration, helplessness, overwhelmed…yet none of these words seemed to quite capture it. I’ve wakened everyday feeling a rumble in the tummy (spiritual, not natural for all of you praying for new little Murdock) that won’t be assuaged…UNREST! It’s not the unrest from fear or anxiety. Its root is not in darkness or shadows. But its roots are deeply intertwined in light. I am experiencing the very thing that Hybels spoke about.
And then the Spirit led me to a biblical personality who felt this same UNREST…Nehemiah! Nehemiah wrote, “Then I got up during the night, I and a few men with me; I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem.” (Neh 1:12, NRSV) And it hit me. God has put something “into my heart” and it is so mysterious that my spiritual mind cannot decipher the specifics. I only know that God has put something “into my heart”.
If you are reading this and experiencing a spiritual UNREST, pray with me: Amazing and awe-inspiring God, direct the clarity of my mind to understand and comprehend what you have put into my heart. Grant me the humility to remember it is impossible without you and the courage to pursue it with you. Let me be conscious of every opportunity you make possible to satisfy this unrest. I am open to your leading. In Jesus name, Amen.
March 23rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Oh my goodness, this is so me right now!!! The blog and the prayer was a rhema word…I didn’t know what to ask God for other than understanding and peace. God is so awesome!!
July 26th, 2010 at 10:39 am
Good Afternoon Sis. For some reason, I’ve found myself at your site today. And although you wrote this months ago, I know by the Holy Spirit todays response is relevant. I would encourage you to press in farther in prayers of petition and supplication in your communion time with our Lord. In petition, state before the Lord what you KNOW He has pressed in your spirit and continue to ask for revelation. In supplication, recall His Word back to Him outloud where you find scripture that is compatible with your experiences right now. Then, as you pray in the Spirit, release your natural mind to hear what the spirit is saying to you and speak it outloud, as you are led, what you can declare in English. As a prophet of God, I speak now that God will continue to release revelation and the gift of interpretation (understanding) of your tongues/prayer language. You have my commitment of prayer for you and the new level of ministry you’re walking in. Blessings upon you and I love you.
Akowa
August 14th, 2010 at 8:08 am
Thank you for these words of wisdom and encouragement. At Women Preach this week I had this feeling in the pit my stomach that I could not explain. I knew God was doing something and I did not want to abort the process. As I read your blog I realized this is it…. “God has put something “into my heart” and it is so mysterious that my spiritual mind cannot decipher the specifics.” Thank you…. My heart is full of God’s wonder this morning..