Pastor Janae’s Blog

After my blog post and prayer yesterday, I intently waited for God’s response. I’ve learned that if I keep my eyes and ears open, God will guide me beside still waters and restore my soul. I participated in both worship services at THE BLVD , our 8:30am worship in East Memphis and our 10:00am worship in Midtown. Min. Charles Laster was our special guest at the 8:30am worship. His ministry was saturated with the anointing, as usual. Then the 10:00am service was masterfully executed as well. As I finished my pastoral rounds after the 10:00am worship, a member stopped me. He offered a very kind compliment from my sermon “Relationship Killers” and began to discuss vision and strategy with me.

Now mind you, our subsequent conversation about vision and strategy was completely unrelated to the beginning of the conversation. But I listened and allowed God to speak to me through this servant. It was a great conversation! The gentleman asked me what my future plans were. I was tempted to go one and on about my husband and his doctoral work or his new CD. But I thought that might be “ovamuch” as my sister girl would say. So instead, I expressed to him that my husband and I were refining our 5 year plan. We exchanged small talk about Memphis, its demographic shifts, and opportunities for niche markets. Then he said to me, “Begin with the end in mind!”

Now I know that!!! But it was almost like new revelation. Begin with the end in mind. Perhaps my unrest is a result of God trying to paint a new picture on my spiritual canvass. Perhaps my unrest is the discomfort of laying aside what is dependable and stationary for something that is dynamic and malleable. Perhaps, my story has a “new ending”. How intriguing. And so I have another piece to this spiritual puzzle. I love how God keeps guiding me along, igniting my curiosity, sustaining the suspense, and nudging me onward.

Well, if you were hooked enough to read this to the end, here’s my advice for you…begin with the end in mind.”

Comments (0) Mar 14 2010

About a week ago, my staff and I watched Bill Hybels “Holy Discontent” from the 2009 Leadership Summit. New to my role as “Lead Pastor”, I wanted to begin casting a strategic vision of purposeful forward movement for my pastoral team. I had it all planned. My staff was gathered in our worship suite, lights out, the video set, discussion questions in hand, worship music in the background, ready to see their eyes perk with inspiration…I hit play…and then something started in me that has not stopped since…UNREST!

Ever since that video, I’ve been trying to name it…frustration, helplessness, overwhelmed…yet none of these words seemed to quite capture it. I’ve wakened everyday feeling a rumble in the tummy (spiritual, not natural for all of you praying for new little Murdock) that won’t be assuaged…UNREST! It’s not the unrest from fear or anxiety. Its root is not in darkness or shadows. But its roots are deeply intertwined in light. I am experiencing the very thing that Hybels spoke about.

And then the Spirit led me to a biblical personality who felt this same UNREST…Nehemiah! Nehemiah wrote, “Then I got up during the night, I and a few men with me; I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem.” (Neh 1:12, NRSV) And it hit me. God has put something “into my heart” and it is so mysterious that my spiritual mind cannot decipher the specifics. I only know that God has put something “into my heart”.

If you are reading this and experiencing a spiritual UNREST, pray with me: Amazing and awe-inspiring God, direct the clarity of my mind to understand and comprehend what you have put into my heart. Grant me the humility to remember it is impossible without you and the courage to pursue it with you. Let me be conscious of every opportunity you make possible to satisfy this unrest. I am open to your leading. In Jesus name, Amen.