Pastor Janae’s Blog

I’ve been trying my whole life to lose weight. About 42 weeks ago I started gaining weight uncontrollably! Week by week I got bigger and bigger. I couldn’t control it! At the end of a 40 week sprint, I had gained a whole 29lbs and then kicked out a beautful 6lb 13oz baby boy.

Those 40 weeks were an unbelievable journey. I saw and felt God changing me, not just physically, but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually for what was to come. I went from the inconvenienced professional pastor bitter that my life was changing without my permission and without my foreknowledge. Then without notice, I transitioned into to the amazed and grateful daughter of God whose intelligence failed to articulate the beauty of the moments. I went from a no-nonsense “Type-A” to a no-nonsense “Type-A” with a hugely transformed heart! I’m still me at my core, but God has added something. My heart gained weight… a whole 6lbs 13oz.

Our society is overweight. Unfortunately we’re mostly obese as a result of unhealthy lifestyle habits. If only we were overweight with love. Have you indulged in poor habits but starved your heart? Could your heart stand to gain a few pounds? I’m not suggesting you have a baby to enlarge your heart but I am suggesting that you give God the opportunity to grow something new in you!

How can you tell whether your heart has gained weight?

Comments (1) Aug 03 2011

I just saw a perplexing exchange between a female passenger and the male airport gate attendant. She left the boarding area of her delayed flight and missed the 3 announcements calling “all passengers all rows; doors will close in 2 minutes”. She returned to see the door was shut and the gate attendant saying, “You cannot board this flight. The boarding door is closed.” She was frantic, irate, and irrational. Her 2 small daughters began crying uncontrollably because they were left behind. One daughter cried, “I want my daddy.” I really wanted to tell that mom to read Matthew 25:13.

There are pivotal moments in our lives where our personal agendas and to-do lists lead us away from the most important things. Our arrogance hinders us from accepting the consequences of those actions and me abort growth and improvement opportunities. I feel bad for that woman who missed her flight, but she should have been there. She was told…all of the passengers were told…do not leave the boarding area. the departure time is only approximate because the flight is already delayed. Do not leave the boarding area. And yet…we leave anyway.

To you, my friend who reads this blog post, the Lord’s return is already delayed. Do not leave the boarding area! You may miss the final call. Once the door is shut, the opportunity is gone. We’ve all been told, “Watch therefore, for no one knows the day or the hour when the Son of Man shall return.” (Matthew 25:13, KJV)

Comments (5) Aug 14 2010

I sat in the cushioned chair along the wall in the middle of the room expecting a good show. I’d heard this poet’s ideas before, but I’d never heard the poet…or so I thought. So I had my seat, my phone…to text in case of boredom…, my pad and my pen…to write in case of genius, and the evening with Jaha Zainabu began.

A striking event occured. My soul is stirred. By the end of her first piece, I’m breathless and stunned at the profound simplicity of her wisdom. By the end of the second piece I’m weeping. I know this feeling. I asked myself, “Where have you felt this before?” And I responded, “In worship.” Yes. That’s what it was. I was in worship! The Creator God who slips the peculiarly thin sliver of light between the sky and the earth in the far distance, slipped in the room right between my arrogance and my to-do list. Whew!

And in poem after poem, reflection after reflection, she continued to prophesy, to correct, to challenge, to celebrate, to reject, to speak to us from the very heart of God. And when the room just couldn’t hold her imaginative genius any longer, I yelled “PREACH!” For that, my friend, is what this poet did.

And so…I recalled, I have heard this poet before…in the poetry of God’s Word to me.

Comments (0) Aug 11 2010

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of African American women wearing men’s clothing. I dare not jump to any conclusions explaining why. I’m merely articulating what I’ve been seeing. In fact, as my husband and I were shopping today, I noticed a group of African American high school aged girls wearing men’s clothing and shopping in the men’s section. It completely threw me off my square. I’ve also noticed this is not as widespread in other ethnic communities. Again, I’m not drawing conclusions, just sharing what I’ve seen.

I’m curious, is this a fad, folly, or feminine freedom?

If it’s a fad, then that means it is a temporary trend that will eventually pass away as popular culture assumes a new fad. It also likely means that this is a surface issue leaving minimal long-term repercussions.

If it’s folly, then there is opportunity for instruction and redirection. Folly assumes that the behavior is the result of a lack of training, wisdom, and discipline. Providing the appropriate combination of all three, the behavior is reversible and the experience is redeemable.

If it’s feminine freedom, that’s a different circumstance all together. In this regard, it is a matter of conscience. It is more than behavior; it is an outward expression of a conscious idea. These are not cavalier or superficial choices, but they rise out of a place of principle, ideal, and consciousness. It is the exercise of these types of “freedoms” that brought about the civil rights movement and the ProLife movement?

What do these things mean for the church? the community? the family?
I ask these questions because our society may miss an opportunity to significantly impact the cultural values or even moral compass for the next generation. How shameful it would be to overlook a new movement that stares us right in our faces because no one wants to ask questions.

Comments (0) Aug 07 2010

After my blog post and prayer yesterday, I intently waited for God’s response. I’ve learned that if I keep my eyes and ears open, God will guide me beside still waters and restore my soul. I participated in both worship services at THE BLVD , our 8:30am worship in East Memphis and our 10:00am worship in Midtown. Min. Charles Laster was our special guest at the 8:30am worship. His ministry was saturated with the anointing, as usual. Then the 10:00am service was masterfully executed as well. As I finished my pastoral rounds after the 10:00am worship, a member stopped me. He offered a very kind compliment from my sermon “Relationship Killers” and began to discuss vision and strategy with me.

Now mind you, our subsequent conversation about vision and strategy was completely unrelated to the beginning of the conversation. But I listened and allowed God to speak to me through this servant. It was a great conversation! The gentleman asked me what my future plans were. I was tempted to go one and on about my husband and his doctoral work or his new CD. But I thought that might be “ovamuch” as my sister girl would say. So instead, I expressed to him that my husband and I were refining our 5 year plan. We exchanged small talk about Memphis, its demographic shifts, and opportunities for niche markets. Then he said to me, “Begin with the end in mind!”

Now I know that!!! But it was almost like new revelation. Begin with the end in mind. Perhaps my unrest is a result of God trying to paint a new picture on my spiritual canvass. Perhaps my unrest is the discomfort of laying aside what is dependable and stationary for something that is dynamic and malleable. Perhaps, my story has a “new ending”. How intriguing. And so I have another piece to this spiritual puzzle. I love how God keeps guiding me along, igniting my curiosity, sustaining the suspense, and nudging me onward.

Well, if you were hooked enough to read this to the end, here’s my advice for you…begin with the end in mind.”

Comments (0) Mar 14 2010

About a week ago, my staff and I watched Bill Hybels “Holy Discontent” from the 2009 Leadership Summit. New to my role as “Lead Pastor”, I wanted to begin casting a strategic vision of purposeful forward movement for my pastoral team. I had it all planned. My staff was gathered in our worship suite, lights out, the video set, discussion questions in hand, worship music in the background, ready to see their eyes perk with inspiration…I hit play…and then something started in me that has not stopped since…UNREST!

Ever since that video, I’ve been trying to name it…frustration, helplessness, overwhelmed…yet none of these words seemed to quite capture it. I’ve wakened everyday feeling a rumble in the tummy (spiritual, not natural for all of you praying for new little Murdock) that won’t be assuaged…UNREST! It’s not the unrest from fear or anxiety. Its root is not in darkness or shadows. But its roots are deeply intertwined in light. I am experiencing the very thing that Hybels spoke about.

And then the Spirit led me to a biblical personality who felt this same UNREST…Nehemiah! Nehemiah wrote, “Then I got up during the night, I and a few men with me; I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem.” (Neh 1:12, NRSV) And it hit me. God has put something “into my heart” and it is so mysterious that my spiritual mind cannot decipher the specifics. I only know that God has put something “into my heart”.

If you are reading this and experiencing a spiritual UNREST, pray with me: Amazing and awe-inspiring God, direct the clarity of my mind to understand and comprehend what you have put into my heart. Grant me the humility to remember it is impossible without you and the courage to pursue it with you. Let me be conscious of every opportunity you make possible to satisfy this unrest. I am open to your leading. In Jesus name, Amen.